How to Be Fabulous -A List of Things By Her Fabulousness Herself, Kristin E. Hovie

Well this post is long overdue.

Since I am literally the most fabulous person you’ll ever meet in your life ever, I thought I’d completely lower myself to your level and share some of my little tidbits with you peasants. Turns out being fabulous isn’t just something you switch on and off, it’s something you work on. Being fab is a process and a journey, not an end destination.

I didn’t just wake up and become totally fabulous. It’s something I’ve been slowly learning over the course of my whole life. So even though I think I’m kinda accidentally high off of cold medicine right now???? (not fab), here are some of the things that keep me flipping my hair on a daily basis.

1.) Send letters.

A while ago while shopping at the Syracuse mall, I bought two packages of stationary from Papyrus. They were majorly on sale and they had little seahorses on them- how frickin’ cute?!- so I ahb-iously had to have them. They’d look totally cute stacked on my desk with my vase of flowers, so why nawt, I thought.

After letting the stationary sit on my desk for the last three months of college, I haphazardly shoved them into a box while packing for home and completely forgot about them.

Upon unpacking from school, I finally unearthed them. I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor holding the packages, wondering why I had bought them in the first place. On a whim a couple weeks ago, I finally decided to take the time to sit down and write some quick notes to some people I lost touch with. I couldn’t have made a better choice.

Letters are more special than a text or email- something you can tuck away in a drawer and find many years later. It’s cool that once you put your pen to paper, you are immortalized. It’s a tangible and more personal way to show others you’re thinking about them. So send a letter to your grandparents or friend- they’ll be sure to appreciate the time you took to sit down and hand write a note.

2.) Don’t get into lengthy fights on celebrity Instagram posts with random people.

Just don’t, guys.

3.) Smile, and smile a lot.

t’s hard for people who are greeted with a smile not to return it. Dwight Schrute may think it’s a primal sign of fear in chimpanzees, but I disagree. We are fortunate not to be chimps, so let’s show off dem pearly whites and make each other’s days.

4.) Think before you tweet. Unless you’re tweeting about Taco Bell at 3 in the morning.

I joined Twitter in 2011 solely because I was an angry teen. It’s fine. I was an angsty, pubescent child on a warpath to defeat my raging hormones and “that science test I had next Thursday”.

So it turns out being super aggressive on social media doesn’t get you very far. I know this sounds like a huge “duh”, but for me, it wasn’t. Twitter was my digital diary and way of being highly passive-aggressive instead of directly approaching someone about an issue or just growing up and getting over it. Before I send a tweet or retweet anything now, I always ask myself, “Are my intentions good? Am I doing this to specifically piss someone off?”

The more I check myself, the less I wreck myself. The worst thing that’s happened to me on Twitter as of late is the disappointment that Papa Johns hasn’t tweeted me back for giving them a shoutout (kayh_3: “PAPA JANS!!!!!! @papajohns”). It’s more satisfying for me to tweet lighthearted things that make people laugh instead of condemning someone’s eyebrows. Because who the heck honestly wants to read passive-aggressive tweets when you can watch reality TV?

Keep in mind that fabulous people do not attract people with vinegar or aggressive, ill intentioned tweets- but instead with honey and choice retweets about interesting articles or tweets about getting a McGang Bang at 3am.

5.) Know how to order a fabulous drink at the bar.

Whether it is a local brew like BudLite or a vodka infused fru-fru drink that definitely has never existed, just don’t make your bartender want to punch you in the face.

6.) Tip well. 

Unless your service was absolutely gawd-awful, tip 18%-20%. Don’t be like your long dead possibly war-criminal-grandpa who refused to tip more than 5% because it was “something he could do himself, so why tip anything” kind of guy.

7.) Stay educated on current events- without being a complete ass about it. 

There is no greater buzz kill than that one friend who blatantly puts his or her opinion out there and refuses to hold an educated conversation about an issue. I acknowledge that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, don’t get me wrong! But coming from someone who knows they’ve been a complete ass in the past about their personal opinions on current events, the only thing I can now say for sure is that it is highly valuable to try and HONESTLY understand multiple points of view. You may not agree with said views, but at least educate yourself before getting in a fistfight about the rights of plant owners in Ohio.

8.) Know when to be dramatic.

Half-heartedly spilling ketchup on your shoe? Yes. Wave your hands a little bit and say, “eh mah GAWWWD” a couple times. Fabulous people tend to flirt on edge of being dramatic every once and awhile. Things to not be so dramatic about? OD-ing on personal issues with family, pessimism about future life plans, boy probs… Not so much.

It’s not healthy to internalize every feeling you have, of course, but making a big deal out of small issues? Not worth it. Refer to my previous article (Things I Don’t Have Time For Now that I’m 23) for further deets. Life is significantly less crappy if you’re not bothered by the small things. Just remember that you have a roof over your head, you’re still alive, and you have the power to make the best of almost any situation that you’re in.

9.) Stay positive.

Good gawd, I used to be the biggest pessimist on the face of the planet in high school. I believed the worst in people, had a reason to believe the worst in any situation, and would constantly sell myself short. People thought it was funny how I would joke around how I “didn’t believe love existed”, but in my heart I had almost convinced myself it was true. I made myself believe in this “reality” and found no happiness within or from it. I thought life was a dark place, full of terrible complexities and existential solutions – optimism was a complete fallacy.

A lot of this, of course, came from depression, but I was never an optimist by choice or nature. Until recently, I had no reason to want to change. Artsy sorts of people (heyyyyy, whuddup!) often feel drawn to the “darkness” and know their best writing and artwork often comes from these depths. Although I can’t deny this, I have to say that now that I’ve forced myself to be more positive, life actually is a heck of a lot brighter. It’s rejuvenating believing the best in people for once. Although I didn’t do a total 180 overnight, letting myself become more optimistic has made life less stressful for me and has made me more pleasurable to be around.

10.) Know when it’s okay to cry.

It’s completely okay to cry. Yeah, maybe not all the time or several times a week (that’s just not healthy), but give yourself a break every once and awhile. Crying shows you cared about something or someone- and that’s okay. Crying only becomes “not okay” when it doesn’t drive you to make changes in your life.

A week ago I had a frustrating exchange with a potential employer that left me feeling like I was a worthless piece of crap. On top of that, I felt the pressure to find a job close by to please my grandfather and the fear that my dad would lose his job the week before Christmas. After trying to talk myself out of crying, I let myself break down for a full half an hour.

After having a pity party, I asked myself an important question: “what can I control?” and moved on from there. Just like my volleyball coaches had been telling me for years- control the controllables. You can’t worry about the rest. So I picked myself up and started looking for more jobs and internships.

11.) Dress well, but know when it’s okay to J chill in your sweats.

I would love to look prom-ready every day if I could, but even I run out of the will to flawlessly apply makeup every day and spend time putting together killer outfits. Fabulous people don’t dress well 100% of the time- that’s just too high maintenance. Fabulous people just happen to know when to dress well and when to let it all hang loose.

Dress to impress yourself. Dress for yourself. Be aware of your audience but let yourself feel good and be comfortable. Girls- also remember that you are more than just the number you wear- beauty and confidence radiate from within (and keep in mind that also applies to wearing sweats!!!). I am convinced that the people I know are often just as beautiful if not more beautiful when they are dressed down than when they have makeup on and are ready to go out.

12.) Shop smart.

Know where your product comes from. Fabulous people know that buying cheap is not always the best option. If a t-shirt is only $5, how is it possible that the person making the garment has been adequately paid to do their job? I’m all about finding deals online and in stores, but have now reached the point in my life where I’m willing to invest in higher quality key pieces that are well crafted. Trends are fun, yes, but having ill fitting clothes fall apart on me after a few uses ceased to “do it” for me after awhile. While in college, I used to shop exclusively at fast fashion retailers because of my budget. I wouldn’t spend more than $20 on a top, $50 on a dress, or $40 on bottoms. Turns out with the sheer amount of things I threw out, I could’ve bought myself a quality pair of jeans for the five or six that I discarded.

Being an informed consumer changed the way I look at where I’m putting my hard earned money- and I’m reaping the benefits of finding stores that treat their business ethically. Though I’d love to drop a grand on a Chanel bag, I just can’t afford to and that’s fine. Money has never determined fabness- just look at Holly Golightly. I’d argue being fab is more so caring about how your garment was made and where it came from than if it were a four figure find.

This is more of a personal opinion type of point, but I’m a firm believer in the “feel good, look good” deal.

13.) Forgive others.

I’ll keep this point short. Easier said than done, but this is one of the most mature things you can do. Letting go helps you move on with your life. It’s like spring cleaning your brain.

14.) Indulge in time spent with others, not material objects.

When my parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year, I found it hard to think of anything I’d rather do than spend more time with my family. Sure, I’d love and appreciate a new car or a new jacket. But the amount of fun I had over Thanksgiving with the fam left me so extremely happy, I knew any material object would not be able to fill the gap that my family continually did.

I get a huuuuge rush after ordering things online or after purchasing an Anastasia Brow Wiz at Sephora, but nothing gives me the good ole fashioned warm fuzzies like playing a random board game or just sitting around the living room with the people I love the most. Time is a precious commodity and if someone is willing to give up some for you, FEEL SO SPECIAL, GUYS. I gotta stop this point before I get too cheesy, but bottom line is that we only have so long on this planet so make it count and tell your loved ones how much they matter to you.

15.) Find something bigger than yourself to dedicate spare time to.

Whether it be volunteering for a local charity, running in a marathon, donating money to your church, make your time here worth it. Allow yourself to become consumed in whatever makes you feel happy and worthwhile for a little each week, it’s a beautiful thing!

16.) Make fun of yourself and embrace your inner nerd.

This is one of my favorite things to do. I’d even go as far as to say that it is a hobby of mine. I love giving others crap, but what keeps me really fabulous is keeping myself in check. Life’s too short not to look back at things and have a light-hearted laugh at yourself. The ability to make fun of myself has largely gotten me where I am today. Nothing is really off limits. Hell, I still love Pokémon and continue to play horse racing video games. How lame is that? Only as lame as I let it be, am I right?

I encourage you to begin making fun of yourself if you haven’t already. It’s great. Once you can make fun of yourself, you give yourself the cred to make fun of pretty much anything else.

Embracing your inner nerd also shows others how comfortable you are with being you. And who doesn’t love that? Even if you do hole yourself up in your basement to beat ATV Off Road Fury 4, only to emerge days later with what you are absolutely is convinced is five o’clock shadow, there’s something fabulous in that. Being you is the ultimate fab.

This is the part where I exclaim, “DON’T LET THEM DULL YOUR SHINE, SWEETIE” as I slide down a rainbow into a world that looks like a Katy Perry album cover.

100% cheesy, but 100% true.

***

Considering I’m starting to see floating cats hovering around my keyboard, I think it’s time to wrap the list up (completely just kidding, mom). But in all seriousness, like I said before, being fabulous isn’t an overnight transition- it’s a process. It’s more than just saying, “ehmahgawd!” or buying fierce AF heels.

Clearly this post seems to show that I hold myself in high esteem- but I promise this is not just a “here’s how great of a person I am” type deal. Being fabulous makes me happy and vice versa. This list of small things keeps me sane and helps me remember there is more to life than just simply being. 

So when life gets you down, flip your hair and find those things that make you feel fabulous- because you all have that fabulousness inside of you!

*air kiss* *air kiss*

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