Over the last few weeks, I’ve been debating if I wanted to write a whole post on everything I’ve learned about working in the service industry. I couldn’t get myself to sit down and write anything during my day off, so I figured if I didn’t feel extremely passionate about it at that moment, I’d save it for later.
And I’m glad I did.
As I was showering this morning (most of the time I start great conversations with myself are in between music breaks of Celine Dion and Enya while shaving my legs), I was thinking about all the crap I just don’t put up with anymore. I don’t put up with buying cheap, disposable clothing from H&M or F21, I don’t put up with the dog scratching my door at night, and I certainly don’t put up with how many times Kim Kardashian posts per day on Instagram anymore. Like, hello? Unfollow?
But besides those things, I found that I don’t put up with a lot of things that I did in high school and college. Hey mom and dad! I grew up! I swear I did! So as a celebration of this, I’ve compiled a super trendy (not really) list of super mature insights (possibly) that I had while taking a shower this morning (okay, this is true).
Now that I have two part-time jobs that exclusively deal with directly providing services to people, I can say I’ve seen some of the best and the worst of humans as consumers.
And I just don’t have the willingness to give the rude people the time of day anymore.
I’ve had customers who I’ve asked as they walk into my store, “hey how’re you? Weather still pretty bad out there?” respond by glaring at me and telling me they’re “only browsing”. It’s certainly off-putting to have someone treat you as such when you’re just doing what your job requires. I don’t enjoy dealing with rude customers, and certainly don’t enjoy dealing with rude people either.
So like I said on my rant on Snapchat about a week ago, treat everyone with kindness no matter how poorly your own day is going. Whenever I’m having a bad day, it always helps trying to make someone else’s day a little brighter. In turn, I feel better about myself and another person walks away feeling better themselves if I didn’t get too socially awkward with our encounter.
2.) Texting Games
I don’t text often (my friends can attest to the fact that I rarely make appearances in groupchats…I like to think of it as a sort of decreased sense of responsibility to answer the more people in the chat), but when I do, I’m not there to play games. I’ve spent much of my high school and college years playing the whole “ehmahgawd, so-and-so just texted me! I’m going to have to wait at least fifteen days to respond so I don’t look so desperate ❤ ” game and in reality, I could’ve probably had some great conversations in the time I spent looking at my Motorola Razr screen counting down the minutes until I felt it was okay to respond.
I don’t have time for that anymore, and if a guy I’m texting thinks I’m “desperate” or “totes DTF” because I don’t give enough shits to wait longer, then I’m happy I’ve weeded him out of my life by being myself and being upfront with my motives.
If I’m texting you, I clearly enjoy talking to you. It’s that simple. If I’m not replying in a groupchat, it’s because I’m Kristin Hovie and my long-ass nails are hindering my ability to answer you quickly and effectively, so I just don’t bother.
3.) Mind Games
Once again, I used to play these sorts of games while in high school, but now that I look back, I don’t feel very powerful for doing so. Clearly I had a complex going on or something and wanted to feel control over any possible aspect of my life. Turns out, it only seems exhausting, pointless, and manipulative now. And it was.
The only trick up my sleeve nowadays remains my unflinching ability to make every guy I meet believe that I’m “just one of the guys”. I can’t even lie and say I do it purposefully for some ulterior motive; I do it because quite frankly, I’m too afraid of the unknown. I have no idea what it’s like to be talking to someone where there are mutual feelings.
So before I get too off topic with “poor me” anecdotes, bottom line that I’m getting across here is that when it comes to my friends or anyone else I may be talking to, I just don’t feel up to playing anyone anymore. What you see with me is what you’re going to get because I already have enough chronic overthinking to do without the mind games.
Let me just say that if you are wearing, perhaps, the most god-awfully ugly sweater and we are not at an ugly sweater Christmas party, I will lie to your face and tell you, “I love your sweater” when prompted. I’ll lie to your face if it makes you happy when it comes to trivial matters such as this. The lying I’d like to say I’ve found I no longer have time for is specifically lying about the way I feel when it is detrimental to my happiness.
This isn’t a black and white sort of point I’m trying to make. Its been hard to be able to muster up the courage to say something when I know the other party might be content or oblivious with my projected feelings and the way things are going at that time. Sometimes it is best to pretend that you’re okay when you’re not. But in my personal life, I’ve found that I am often most happy when I tell the truth, even if it immediately hurts.
When someone you know asks you if you’re okay and you can honestly say you are not, think about the possible outcomes you may expect for being upfront if they are the issue. Who is asking? Why are they asking? Do you value their opinion and care about them? Proceed with caution.
This is a very personal opinion of mine because I know others who are able to mask the way they feel until they can “get over” something. Unfortunately, I’m more of a “let’s talk it out” sort of person than a person who has the ability to move on without the discourse. Not sure if that’s a sort of l’essence précède l’existence deal or vice versa, but it’s something I can’t (and won’t) ignore.
I firmly believe that happiness is a choice, and I say this even knowing how difficult shaking off the sludge of depression is. Sadness, to me, is a beautiful thing. When my grandpa passed away, I felt sad. Sadness is different than depression. Sadness shows you cared and loved something or someone dearly. Depression is maladaptive (not saying nothing good comes from it, but depression is not what is considered “normal”, if you catch my drift). I feel like such a cheeseball for saying this and might need to go chop some wood for an hour or air guitar to My Chemical Romance after this to make up for it, but it’s something I find to be true for myself.
And I don’t have time for it.
Going to work at my sales job has been one of those things I wake up and dread every single day I go in. I do not consider myself a natural when it comes to sales, and I have to put on a sort of “act” every time I go in. Yesterday, I decided I didn’t want to put up with my whininess any longer, so I turned on some music and danced like a complete fool in front of a mirror for an hour before leaving for work. And guess what? It worked. Putting my foot down and telling myself, “this is not how I want to live” changed my perspective. I could make the most out of my day if I tried hard enough and found something positive in every perceived negative I came upon.
Rude customer? Cool. I’ll focus on the other customer who needs to be styled. Didn’t meet my sales goal for the day? I’ll focus on the fact that I made some great emotional connections with my customers today.
This may seem like common sense to you guys, but it doesn’t come naturally. This is a huge breakthrough for me. This is when I say something cliche about life being too short to blah blah blah. You know the drill.
So there are plenty more things I don’t have time for, such as how many times Kendall Jenner appears in Vogue editorials or Instagram models posing with barely any clothes on, but these are my big five as of now. One other point I was thinking of adding was one that made me kind of sad- friends. I’ve found that you will have increasingly less time to spend with friends because working takes up much of your life. Weekends are the only time left reserved for friends (unless you can go to dinner during the week or something) and weekends go quickly when planning things out. Coordinating dates that work out for most of the friends in your group is no easy task. Something doesn’t work next week for one friend? What about the next week? You’re going to visit your family. The next week after that, maybe? That’s already three weeks gone.
Pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?
Value the time you have. High school and college had me thinking it was normal to be able to see your friends every day for most months out of a year. Turns out for life afterwards, it gets a little harder. It’s sad, but you figure out quickly who you value and the lengths you’ll go to for those friendships. It’s a pretty cool thing when you think about it- and that’s where I’ll leave you for today.